Megan is packing for Year 11 camp... there is so much stuff strewn around, but I guess that's the nature of packing for camp. She's so worried about not being able to 'bush pee', it's kinda funny.

I wish you were here!

I guess I'll feel this way for a long time to come but I just want you to be here. I know you're gone, I know you're not coming back... but I just want you to be here!

It was a quieter day today... Robin & Diana headed back north this morning. As wonderful as they are, and have been, it was time... I needed the quiet time really. There were a couple of visitors today - Pelory brought flowers and Lynda brought pumpkin soup. The freezer is filling up which is fantastic because the thought of cooking just causes my brain to freeze up.

So... we've finished packing Megan's gear - she's certainly not travelling light, but under the circumstances I think that's okay. She's done pretty well actually. We borrowed most of the gear from Joanne again - not sure what we would have done for both Megan's & Ethan's camp if it wasn't for her generosity. Plus Megan borrowed a swag from Colleen and a camp cot from Joanne (which we didn't do for Ethan) which will certainly make sleeping a lot more comfortable.

She's ready to go. I'll take her to Tully in the morning and she's off for 5 days, 4 nights. I think that it'll be a good distraction for her and hopefully an overall positive experience. Adrianna and Paula are both going, which will certainly make a difference for her. While she's definitely apprehensive, I think she's also excited and kinda looking forward to it. Not sure what the weather's going to be like - it's been so gray, windy, wet and kinda cold since you've gone.

It makes the amazingly beautiful, sunny, warm and settled day of your passing so much more special - John's day is what I've been calling the 20th. I knew you would go on a sunny day - or maybe I just needed it to be a sunny day - you know how I hate the gray weather.

I miss you so much... I miss the things that we won't do together in the future... from the big things like holidays away, watching the kids become more independent, choosing our next home, learning to be a couple again as the kids leave home to start their own lives, growing older together... and the small things like watching TV together, going out to dinner, walking on the beach, riding bikes in the mornings, talking about things - important and mundane...